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Can't We Talk about Something More Pleasant?: A Memoir, by Roz Chast
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Review
"By turns grim and absurd, deeply poignant and laugh-out-loud funny. Ms. Chast reminds us how deftly the graphic novel can capture ordinary crises in ordinary American lives." - Michiko Kakutani, New York Times"A tour de force of dark humor and illuminating pathos about her parents’ final years as only this quirky genius of pen and ink could construe them." - Elle"An achievement of dark humor that rings utterly true." - Washington Post"One of the major books of 2014 . . . Moving and bracingly candid . . . This is, in its original and unexpected way, one of the great autobiographical memoirs of our time." - Buffalo News"Better than any book I know, this extraordinarily honest, searing and hilarious graphic memoir captures (and helps relieve) the unbelievable stress that results when the tables turn and grown children are left taking care of their parents. . . [A] remarkable, poignant memoir." - San Francisco Chronicle"Very, very, very funny, in a way that a straight-out memoir about the death of one’s elderly parents probably would not be . . . Ambitious, raw and personal as anything she has produced." - New York Times"Devastatingly good . . . Anyone who has had Chast’s experience will devour this book and cling to it for truth, humor, understanding, and the futile wish that it could all be different." - St. Louis Post Dispatch"Gut-wrenching and laugh-aloud funny. I want to recommend it to everyone I know who has elderly parents, or might have them someday." - Milwaukee Journal Sentinel"Joins Muriel Spark's Memento Mori, William Trevor's The Old Boys, and Kingsley Amis's Ending Up in the competition for the funniest book about old age I've ever read. It is also heartbreaking." - Barnes & Noble Review"Chast tackles those intimate and difficult changes with just the same humor and honesty as everything else. Readers who are starting to transition from children to caretakers of their own parents will find comfort in Chast’s work, and almost anyone can appreciate the pleas to talk about something more pleasant with your family." - Paste, 10 Comics to Help You Escape (or Appreciate) Your Family this Holiday Season"Revelatory… So many have faced (or will face) the situation that the author details, but no one could render it like she does. A top-notch graphic memoir that adds a whole new dimension to readers’ appreciation of Chast and her work." - Kirkus Reviews (starred review)"Chast is at the top of her candid form, delivering often funny, trenchant, and frequently painful revelations -- about human behavior, about herself -- on every page." - David Small, author of Stitches"Never has the abyss of dread and grief been plumbed to such incandescently hilarious effect. The lines between laughter and hysteria, despair and rage, love and guilt, are quavery indeed, and no one draws them more honestly, more . . . unscrimpingly, than Roz Chast." - Alison Bechdel, author of Fun Home"Roz Chast squeezes more existential pain out of baffled people in cheap clothing sitting around on living-room sofas with antimacassar doilies in crummy apartments than Dostoevsky got out of all of Russia’s dark despair. This is a great book in the annals of human suffering, cleverly disguised as fun." - Bruce McCall, author of Bruce McCall's Zany Afternoons
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About the Author
Roz Chast grew up in Brooklyn. Her cartoons began appearing in the New Yorker in 1978. Since then, she has published more than one thousand cartoons in the magazine. She has written and illustrated many books, including the national bestseller Going into Town, What I Hate: From A to Z, and the collections of her own cartoons The Party After You Left and Theories of Everything. She is the editor of The Best American Comics 2016 and the illustrator of Calvin Trillin's No Fair! No Fair! and Daniel Menaker's The African Svelte, all published in Fall 2016. She was awarded the Harvey Award Hall of Fame Award.
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Product details
Paperback: 228 pages
Publisher: Bloomsbury USA; Reprint edition (September 13, 2016)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1632861011
ISBN-13: 978-1632861016
Product Dimensions:
7.6 x 0.6 x 9.3 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.6 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.5 out of 5 stars
1,256 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#16,909 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
As someone who is dealing with an aged mother (97) and presumably rapidly moving into old age himself, I found this book poignant, funny, sad, moving, realistic, depressing and thoroughly enjoyable. I totally loved it (even when it was sad) and cannot recommend it highly enough. But who knew that Ms. Chast and I had the same parents?
* As I write this, my 83-year-old dad is withering away in an assisted living facility, riddled with Alzheimer's. Sometimes I want my Dad to die now - because he's unaware of his suffering - and he'd cuss me out if he knew he is turning into what Roz Chast's mother describes as "a pulsating piece of protoplasm." I feel guilty feeling this way - but "Can't We Talk About Something More Pleasant?" makes such forbidden thoughts feel normal.* (BTW, don't buy the Kindle version. This title, with its colorful cartoons and photos - as well as its handsome construction as a hardcover book - truly belongs on your coffee table. I sampled the Kindle version, didn't like it, and bought the hardcover.)* This book feels weirdly clairvoyant. It exposed my doubts, fears and paradoxical feelings about watching my parents die slowly before my eyes. I've read almost everything about the subject of aging and dying. And yet this is the first book that captures the exhausting experience of caring for aging parents, e.g., that it's sometimes gross - (see passages about hoarding, incontinence and "grime") - AND funny - (see "The Wheel of Doom" and Roz Chast's father's obsession with myriad bank books, decades old).* The author's hand-wringing about whether there's going to be enough money to pay for her parents' care is spot on. How long will the money last if they live "X" more years vs. "Y" more years? I do these calculations every month, constantly updating and trying to prepare for the worst. Any savings will be drained by expenses which will have no effect on terminal outcomes. If the daily care and feeding of your parents doesn't kill you - then the avalanche of paperwork and legal stuff that must be done - will.* Hence despite the preference to "talk about something more pleasant," if nothing else, this book demonstrates why planning for our parents' end-of-life care must begin NOW - not later.* I recommend this book for every person who's on the brink of going insane about their aging parents. Give it to caregivers, give it to your siblings, give it to anyone who hates dark subjects - but who can handle them if they're presented in a disarmingly funny style that's accessible - yet still honest. (I don't think I can read another "text-only" book about the "death spiral" of aging parents.)* In sum, "Can't We Talk About Something More Pleasant?" takes the hard edges off some things while inflicting blunt-force traumas about others. Roz Chast nails the impending death of our parents in a way that feels like a landmark work. I know such praise sounds silly given the sea of excellent books out there about aging. But I've never seen this subject presented in an original, humorous and touching way, complete with hand-drawn illustrations and color photos. It avoids the trap of being overly optimistic, forcing us to confront the gruesomeness of mortality - while STILL providing an emotional "lift" about something universal.* This book makes going through one of the darkest periods of my life - feel almost worth it.
There is a saying in the Navy: "any ship can be a minesweeper...once." For those of us not in the medical or elder care professions, dealing with our parents' decline and death is an emotional roller coaster; a harrowing experience. One can't be fully prepared for the emotional, physical and financial challenges. People are living longer, many families are smaller and through jobs and choice we are not always living in the same community with our parents. Chast is very honest about not having lived an idyllic childhood and her parents weren't the best (or worst) role models. Most of us try to do the right things for our parents when we become responsible for their care, and I suspect most of us aren't candidates for sainthood.She crafts a caring and candid portrait of two flawed but colorful people who stood together for nearly 70 years in a rock solid marriage. She is also remarkably honest about her own conflicting emotions.Her parents foibles and phobias, hoarding and occasional irrationality clearly drove their daughter to distraction. Still, they lived well into their 90s on their own terms. The sadness of their ultimate physical and mental decline is only partially absolved by their daughter's fulfilling her duty of care and the hard won insights as she comes to terms with and assists them in their final journey..For those of us who have been through this passage, it is a tale well told. For those who have not, buckle up.
This memoir is so honest (brutally so at times I suppose)and so well told with terrific humor, that I must say if you have an aging parent(s)that you are caring for, concerned about, worry about, wonder about or if you recently lost an elderly parent(s)who you took care of, this book let's you know you aren't alone while allowing you a moment or two to laugh (even through tears). Roz Chast expresses feelings that I think many people (certainly I) have felt during this journey - we simply don't voice them and occasionally feel guilty for having the thoughts. It is good to know that the frustration and other feelings you have at times while dealing with a parent (especially one with dementia) is shared. For me, this book was like having drinks with a good friend. I believe, in the end, Roz showed her deep loving connection in her own perfect way via this book. I think it was expressed in a way her mother would have understood even if a few other reviewers didn't.
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